having sleepless nites doesnt help...
especially when u are being 'haunted' of something..
something u long to do...
but u just dont seem to know how to start or do it..
im still lost in my own thoughts..should i or should i not???
these doubtfulness have been playing in my head..
till i dont know what im doing..feeling restless doesnt help..
and the almost collapse incident remind me of something else..
a promise i made to someone..
but i yet to fulfill it..
no thanx to my own stubborness...
no thanx to my own fear...
that again..left me in my own nightmare daily..

when will i be able to fight against the fear..
when will my strength be fully recovered..
when will my pillar of strength be there for me..
when will be the time that i will face the truth...
when will be the time i have the courage..
the courage to solve the fear...
the courage to cure the pain...
the courage to mend the broken pieces...
i dont know... i really dont...