dont really know what got into me but i became so moody and restless... i didnt know what actually stimulate that emotion in me... yeah, probably of that word SENSITIVE... im damn sure i hate that word... it hurts to the butt when the person keep repeating the same word each time he joked but im not allow to joke in return... what the .....????? how do u define sensitivity??? and it simply pissed me off when people joke without thinking about how others will feel and the recent was someone PURPOSELY said im khoo may cheng when he knows VERY WELL that im not... i would like to swear mind u, but im being patient... if u gonna step on my tail again, u better make sure u vanish before i see any trace of u... arhhhhhhhhhhh....

another thing, i still couldnt understand why people luv making promises when they know they cant fulfill it... i can remember all the promises people swear to me but i DONT remember any of them fulfilling it... i dont know how many times i have mentioned this but each time i do so, the pain just become worse and the burden becomes heavier... i couldnt do anything coz im not them... i used to pray hard for sum miracles to happen but i dont think i will anymore... its too much for me to carry on like that...

anyway, the NORMALITY that the dr mentioned to me wasnt convincing as i know SOMETHING isnt right...coz the other day when i followed dad to bukit dumbar, i suddenly felt so dizzy after i walked up part of a sloopy road. i didnt tell him coz i dont want them to worry... i just wish i know..maybe BT is right, there's something wrong with my heart... i will go for further screening IF I REALLY HAVE TO before i head back to sabah...