its a matter of time...

it isnt a good day.. out of a sudden, i almost fainted while cooking my 2nd fave soup, but i told myself to stand the pain... however, before i could finish washing up the utensils, i vomitted..darn.. it was horrid...after cleaning up, i just drop myself on the bed..and after lunch, i just sleep the whole day which means, i DELAYED my study schedule again... sigh..i cant seem to breathe again..sigh... i wish i will get better before i go to genting...

sometimes, i've been wondering is it a right thing to tell the truth... these few days, i've been 'bothered' by certain words that make me wonder how do i stand in a person's heart? who am i in that person's point of view? a very important person or just a normal fren? i darent ask more as i fear of getting some answers that i dont ever wana hear but why does my heart longs to hear and know more? does it means something to miss someone so badly and just wana meet that person so much that u would try to do watever u can??
i've been having sleepless nites since i was told of things that bothered that person.. everytime i received some not so happy news, i just wish i could be there to support and care for that person... but things arent as easy as it seems to be... there are many consequences for every thing that i say or do. that's the reason i cant possibly be so honest and tell that person... i just dont want to lose another fren that means so much to me...

to my very important person...

i wish i could tell u the feelings inside me, but i dont have the heart to hurt u again and i REALLY dont wana lose a good and great fren like u. u might not know this, but u have been my pillar of strength in many cases when i needed some support to carry on. u instilled some senses in my overly damaged brain and made me think before i say anything. im truly sorry for breaking your heart so many times but i didnt know that my words have so much effect on u... i do hope u will tell me if there's anything u do wana tell me coz i will leaving soon... i just dont wan to see u suffer so much... my heart breaks too... take care and my best regards to u always.. will always luv u too...hugs...